A look back at the national distraction that was the Irish General Election campaign

As campaigning finally ends and people go to the polls to administer electoral justice, my current thoughts on the general election are summed up by a question President George H.W. Bush asked Dan Quayle, as reported by the former VP to the LA Times: “I know you've had some rough times, and I want to do something that will show the nation what faith that I have in you, in your maturity and sense of responsibility. Would you like a puppy?”

The campaign has been an exasperating one, and at this point distraction is the only thing that makes it any way endurable. But while it’s been an incredibly disappointing few weeks for illuminating discussion with any social element or planning into the future, it hasn’t been at all bad when it comes to amusing sideshows.
Fine Gael have furnished us with the majority of the comic relief (whether or not that’s an omen is anyone’s guess), the first incident being Enda putting a bet on himself to win the election. With a guide dog behind the counter. Enda’s personal popularity ratings started to steadily rise following his meeting with Clive The Awesome Labradoodle. Coincidence, I think not.

But if his meeting with Clive gave him a bump in the polls, Enda’s jumping about in platform game format gave everyone else a stitch in their stomach from laughing so hard. “Go Ireland”, named after the action seeing the game would want you to do, involves Enda hopping around icing opposition TDs in his quest to do whatever the hell it is he wants to do. It’s awful, though not as bad as their previous amendment on whack-a-mole involving government ministers. If Fine Gael’s approach to running the country is even slightly similar to their approach to technology, then we are well and truly done for.

If only it stopped there. Over the campaign one story has been flying round the internet (but very few other places) that Enda Kenny dropped the N-bomb back in 2002 during an anecdote about the assassinated former leader of the Democratic Republic of Congo Patrice Lumumba, and then told the journalists in the audience not to report it. Our next Taoiseach, folks.

Not that Kenny has been the only leader in a racial embarrassment the likes of which generally only happen to Larry David. Micheal Martin wandered into a bizarre impression of a Chinese person saying how good Ireland was at making software. Far and away the best interlude of the election though was Enda’s running mate Michael Ring being accosted by a reveller at a hen party who, wielding a giant inflatable penis, pushed it through the window of the van in which he was travelling. Captions on a postcard please to the regular address.

And while we’re handing out awards, the title of “most hardcore” candidate in this election would have to go to Betty Holmes. A couple of days after declaring she’d run, she damaged her ribs after a rough landing at City of Derry Airport and spent a couple of days in Altnagalvin Hospital. Having discharged and got her papers in hours before the declaration deadline, she then spent a couple more days in hospital in Dublin, having an angiogram and stents put in a major artery, all within a week of the beginning of the campaign. As a health lobby candidate, she certainly has relevant experience.

Betty Holmes was one of the candidates who participated in the Donegal Youth Council debates I hosted last week, and while she performed well, there was one candidate who really stood out. The redoubtable Councillor Ian McGarvey, who’ll turn 81 this year, emphatically made his mark on the group of young people in the audience by showing up 90 minutes late, taking his seat at the top table, and launching into a statement that began “There are two things in this life: nonsense and reality...”. He got a standing ovation when he finished. As election campaigns go, this one confused nonsense and reality like no other I can remember.

State of independents: gearing up for the Irish General Election

The general election due to take place in Ireland is likely to be one of the most extraordinary we’ve ever had. Not only is the economic situation more consumed by more dire straits than Mark Knopfler’s studio technician, but confidence in pretty much every major Irish institution is hanging comically round the ankles.

So while people may be united in loathing, their voting preferences are all over the shop. Fine Gael are riding high as a party and Enda Kenny, previously only marginally more popular than shin splints, is now getting kudos for not screwing up more than anything else. Labour are slipping behind, with even Eamon Gilmore’s personal popularity falling. Fianna Fáil are hoping their numbers go up thanks to Micheal Martin, the theory being it’s very hard to be angry at somebody who agrees with you and doesn’t argue back, but it’s not working. Sinn Féin and the United Left Alliance are picking up support in the polls but that tends to fall off when people actually reach the ballot box.

Add to that the multiple (some might say numbing) TV debates this year, and with offhand comments all but impossible to bury now in our internet-omnipresent age, there will also be an unprecedented opportunity to see parties and party members screw up. And while the state of the parties will no doubt leave us wholly exasperated, that leaves the way open for a group unusually prevalent people in Irish politics anyway to really make their mark this time: Independents.

Due to Ireland’s proportional representation system it’s much easier for an independent to get elected here than in the UK or the US, and this time round it’ll be easier still. Traditionally, independent candidates are also either ex-members of parties with a strong local base like Neil Blaney or Michael Lowry, a campaigner on a particular community issue like saving the local hospital such as Tom Foxe or Paudge Connolly, or left-leaning candidates with a broader focus who don’t correspond to any label and benefit from the anti-establishment tag political independence gives them, like Tony Gregory or Finian McGrath. And of course, some independent candidates are just plain nuts.

But this time, the “feck-ye-all” sentiment affecting parties, combined with a concerted effort in some quarters for a technical Independent group of TD’s to keep them honest, means that an unprecedented number of non-party politicians look likely to take their seats in the Dáil next time. And while big names like David McWilliams and Fintan O’Toole have declined to run, there are more than enough individuals willing to pick up the mantle who could win a seat, making a political landscape in flux even more volatile.

Senator Shane Ross is one of the bright lights of the field, and he’s almost certain of getting a seat in Dublin South, but there are plenty of others in the capital who could be sitting next to him. Markets analyst Paul Somerville, youthful muso Dylan Haskins and the Christy Moore-backed Mannix Flynn are all running on their own steam in Dublin South East, one of the most consistently competitive and difficult to call constituencies in the country. Across O’Connell Bridge in Dublin Central ex-Sinn Féiner Christy Burke could not only embarrass Mary Lou McDonald (who couldn’t win a Mary Lou McDonald lookalike contest) but Fianna Fáil too. Now Bertie Ahern has absconded Fianna Fáil’s candidates are sitting TD Cyprian Brady, who got fewer votes last time than a High School Class President but got in on Bertie’s coat-tails anyway, could cancel out local councillor Mary Fitzpatrick, allowing Burke to come up through the middle. In Dublin North East, the leading light of the motley New Vision alliance might convert his burgeoning media profile into a decent showing.

Beyond the pale dishevelled property developer Mick Wallace might make something of it in Wexford, while down the road in Waterford popular city councillor John Halligan is looking very good for a seat in a constituency full of new faces and lacking any real big hitters. While in Cork there are a throng of independent candidates running, they’re in a crowded and talented field which should hamper their progress, but in the rest of Munster their chances are better. Tom Fleming and Mattie McGrath are ex-Fianna Fáilers and in spite of their baggage will still probably poll rather respectably, though probably at the expense of another Independent, Michael Healy-Rae, son of former Minister for Combovers Jackie.

In Clare James Breen, who crashed out of contention in 2007, rallied back enough at the local elections in 2009 to put him back in the mix. Galway City might return two independents, as Labour rebel Catherine Connolly and PD survivor Noel Grealish both look in good shape, while further up Connacht Micheal Kilcoyne could cause an upset in Mayo. In Roscommon-South Leitrim, Luke “Ming The Merciless” Flanagan, one of the most well-known politicians in the country for various reasons, might raise the amount of independents in the Dáil and the gaiety of the nation if he finally makes it this time, and up north in Donegal South West Thomas Pringle will push hard for the third seat after a strong showing at the recent by-election.

In the rest of Leinster not many indies stand out, but former Fianna Fail councillor Kevin “Boxer” Moran could throw a cat among the O’Rourkes, while the rather sedate race in Kildare South has just been livened up by Clifford T Reid, who ran in the 2004 European elections under a “Stop The Paedophiles” ticket.

Paddy Kennedy in the same constituency stands a better chance of being elected, while in the bordering constituency of Kildare North Catherine Murphy is in great shape to win back the seat she lost in 2007.

If even a fraction of the candidates I’ve mentioned get elected, and if a few other pop a surprise out of nowhere, then you would have a very strong group of between 10 and 15 independents who, given the fractious state of the big parties, could wield enormous power in the formation of the next government. And with such a large group with such varied placings on the political spectrum, that’s where the fun begins.

Youth Council debates in Ireland - candidates that stand to change the face of Irish politics

Far be it from TV3 or RTE to hold sway over all the debating fun over the next few weeks, as this week the Donegal Youth Council are hosting debates, which I’ll be moderating, on the 15th and 16th of February. On the 15th the candidates in the North East constituency will plead their case in Letterkenny, while the following night the candidates in the South West in Donegal Town will take their turn. It promises to be an interesting and illuminating couple of nights.

For starters this is a debate where the topics of discussion will be provided by the young people in attendance, and will be free to comment and ask questions of any candidate at any point. As young people feel more acutely than ever, unemployment, education and future prospects are serious issues in this election, and these debates will give a golden opportunity for them to directly question their prospective new TD’s on the issues that matter to them most, and ascertain who most corresponds to their own worldview. And even though a great deal of that audience will be under 18, the choices those candidates make after they’re elected will have a big effect on how the next five years and beyond of their lives go. And they know it.

Discussing election topics they wanted brought up on the night with the youth councilors last week was truly inspiring. The range and depth of the discussion, with young people ranging from 13 to 17 years of age, was seriously impressive. We talked for two hours but we could’ve easily talked for another two. Whatever and about the rest of the country, this was an apathy-free zone, and it was beyond refreshing.

It’s that spirit that we’ll hopefully capture on the night. There’ll be plenty of debates – three way debates, five way debates, debates in Irish, swimsuit debates probably – that will deal with technical issues, or sound like a theory exam, or worse yet just take shots across the room from each other.

But this debate will hopefully get beyond that theory, and we’ll see what the candidates really think and how their ideas will translate into action.

And rather than talking about oblique concepts like “the smart economy” or creating jobs” or “political reform”, the candidates will be fielding questions from young people living and breathing the situations they’re asking about, issues ranging from road safety to health provision to the school curriculum and emigration and many more besides. The willingness and graciousness of all the candidates who have so readily agreed to participate in these Youth Council debates just goes to show how valuable the candidates consider young people’s voices to be. And with the amount of candidates running, young people ought to be getting plenty of answers.

On the declaration deadline on Wednesday, there were a massive 20 candidates declared between the two constituencies, and given the dramatic events of the last couple of weeks everything is to play for. Not only that, but the state of play in both constituencies couldn’t be more different that the last election. Back in 2007 when the Youth Council organized similar debates, Niall Blaney told the audience that the vote was being held on a Thursday to make sure people who were perhaps going to their holiday homes at the weekend would be able to vote without problems. Not only is Niall Blaney gone now, but so are most of the second homes.

It’s fitting that debates featuring candidates that stand to change the face of Irish politics forever are being hosted by the newest batch of Youth Councilors, only in the job themselves a couple of months. While they’re only starting out on their careers in public service, their passion, interest and engagement is prodigious. They may not have a vote, but they have a voice all the same, and a big stake in how this country is run now and into the future. And that’s why these will be the antidote to televised debates.